QUARTERLY NEWSLETTER

 

COMMUNITY NEWS:

Congratulations to Karen Douglas of Walnut Creek for winning the I-Pod Shuffle. Her name was picked when I held a drawing on May 9th at the Community Benefit for the Walnut Creek Education Foundation sponsored by The Sports Basement and Walnut Creek Magazine.

 

PARENTING Tips:

Effective Communication

Parenting is the toughest job because there are no breaks. Children are like sponges…they are always soaking it all in. Therefore, you are ALWAYS modeling…the good, bad and the ugly. Here are some ways to get across the message you want them to hear.

 

Be calm.  Your neutral tone shows your child you are in control of your emotions and the situation.  Your calmness is contagious and will help your child calm down.

 

Be consistent, but not rigid.  Create the rules in your home by enforcing them consistently and with confidence. After you have established a pattern, if you need to break the routine every now and then, explain why you are making an exception.

 

Get your child’s attention.  Say your child’s name and look directly at your child when you give a directive.

 

Catch them being good.  Often misbehavior comes from an effort to get attention. It is very easy to focus on a child’s negative behavior. Make an effort to find genuine and specific praise that highlights the good thing your child accomplished, no matter how small it may seem.  “I noticed that you washed your hands before dinner without being reminded tonight. Thanks for being so responsible!”

 

Timely reminders.  Before your child leaves the bedroom, remind him or her to make the bed.

 

Present appropriate choices.  Give your child choices such as, “Do you want an apple or a banana for lunch?”  Make sure you only give choices that you would want your child to choose.  

 

State your expectations.  Tell your child what you want him or her to do. Do not ask questions if you don’t want to hear the answer. Asking “Are you ready to do your homework now?” leaves the decision up to your child and answer will probably be “no!”  Instead say,  “Time to get started on your homework!”

 

Model manners.  By your saying “please” and “thank you” you will encourage your child to use the same courtesies in his or her own language. 

 

 

Keep it brief. If you keep directions simple you will avoid overwhelming your child.  As he or she completes a task, then direct your child to the next one.  One or two sentences will work better than a lecture in most cases.  “Put your coat on or you’ll be late for school.”  Lecturing may make the parent feel better, but your child will probably tune you out after the first couple of sentences.

 

Separate the behavior from the child.  Shift your criticism from the child to the child’s behavior.  Rather than, “You really make me sad when you do not put away your toys”, try “I really like it when you put away your toys when you are finished playing”. Whenever possible say it in positive terms. 

 

Take advantage of a captive audience. Use car rides and mealtimes to have important discussions or to lay out the expectations for the next part of the day. “When we get home, I need you to brush your teeth, put on your pajamas, and get into bed.”

 

A Parent’s Prayer

 

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray my sanity to keep.

For if some peace I do not find.

I’m pretty sure I’ll lose my mind.

 

 May I lie back and not have to think

About what they’re stuffing down the sink,

Or who they’re with, or where they’re at

And what they’re doing to the cat. 

 

I pray for time all to myself

(Did something just fall off a shelf?)

To cuddle in my nice, soft bed

 (Oh, no, another goldfish – dead!)

 

Some silent moments for goodness sake

(Did I just hear a window break?)

And that I need not cook or clean

(Well heck, I’ve got the right to dream).

 

Yes now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray my wits about me keep

But, as I look around I know,

I must have lost them long ago

 

Author unknown